Attack of the Crab Monsters – 1957 – This movie is an excellent example of the 1950s era B SF/Horror film genre. A team of scientists and its supporting crew venture to a remote oceanic island to learn the fate of a scientist who has gone missing. The scientist characters were depicted as professionals in each of their fields, the lead doctor, a geologist, a botanist, a land and a marine biologist, and a nuclear physicist, but not as men of action. The titular crabs monsters, of which there were two, were the result of mutation caused by radioactive fallout from H-bomb testing in proximity to the island on which the story takes place. The automobile-sized creatures had horribly unrealistic, human-looking eyes, and they gained human sentience, and telepathy, by eating the brains of their victims. I didn’t recognize most of the actors in this movie, but Russell Johnson (Gilligan’s Island’s “Professor”) played a man named Hank. When one of the seamen asked Hank if he was a scientist, he said, “I’m no scientist. I’m a technician and a handyman.” His interaction with the actual scientists was depicted as intelligent but subservient, and, as the movie progressed, his competence, bravery and physicality became evident as the scientists came to depend upon his abilities more and more. The movie meandered, and left some plot threads untied, and most of the action, of which there was little, took the form of swimming and running, unfortunate accidents, narrow escapes, and implicit death scenes at the claws of the crab monster. At the end, it was Hank’s insight and quick, determined action that saved the few scientists who survived.
I would say that, despite its diversion into encephalophagic-induced telepathy, Attack of the Crab Monsters is primo filmage.
I watched it on the Roku TV, through a free streaming service called Retro SciFi & Horror, that has about 70 selections at this time.
I have devised a rating scale so that I may better convey a film’s quality. I’m calling it the 10TLA10 Scale until I come up with a better name.
The TLA categories, of which there are ten (duh), are:
TMC: Treatment of Major Concept. How well did the film convey its major plot concept (i.e. alien visitation, extraplanetary travel, giant spider invasion)?
STR: Science Technology Realism. Are the science and technology presented realistically? Does it seem like the creators of the film know anything at all about science and technology?
CSE: Competent Special Effects. How was the clay-mation? The superimposed giant lizard? The rubber tentacles and/or claws? The firework rocket-blasts and animated laser fire?
GAQ: General Acting Quality. Were the actors giving 100% to their roles, or phoning it in over here?
LPS: Logical Progression of Story. Beginning, middle, end, are they there? Do they flow, like they should in a movie?
ACE: Apparent Creative Effort. I put a lot of effort into designing this cool rating system. Did the creators of this film put in nearly as much effort making their thing?
RTI: Retention of Trope Integrity. Does the woman running through the woods trip on a root and twist her ankle? Are the space aliens super-advanced and intent upon taking over our planet?
OFE: Overall Film Execution. Okay, taken as a gestalt (oh, look it up!), how was it? Schlock? A good effort? Did they knock it out of the park?
APF: Accuracy Predicting Future. No one knows what tomorrow may bring. How close did this film get to where we are now?
MLA: Menace Level of Antagonist. A giant Gila monster doesn’t rattle a kid who spent his childhood exploring the New Mexico wilderness. A shark, maybe. How did the creators of the film do at presenting the monster, villain, or giant asteroid as a menacing antagonist?
We may, at some point arrange the TLAs in some sort of categorical grouping, possibly representing the broad aspects of the B sci fi / horror genre (Speculative Science, perhaps. Film Artistry, I don’t know. We’re not there yet.) For now, each TLA quality will be measured on a scale from 0 to 10 points, then all points will be added together to get one final score between 0 and 100. Okay?
So, Attack of the Crab Monsters… Go! (For this first film, I’ll provide a little of my thinking behind the rates I choose. It’s all subjective, okay?)
TMC: Treatment of Major Concept. 10
Yes! The idea that man’s mad quest to unlock the power of the atom might have unpredictable and abominable consequences was captured perfectly.
STR: Science Technology Realism. 5
The crab monster mutations were due to radioactive seawater that rained down on the island from nearby H-Bomb testing sites, certainly. Good science. But the effects of the fallout were all over the place. Physicality mutations, size mutations, intellect and ability mutations. Pick a mutation, people! Go with size, and rely on the aggressive voraciousness of the monster to provide the horror and suspense. Also, the crab monsters were impervious to grenades and bullets, but a falling stalactite through the carapace does one in. A little more specialization was needed in the areas of radioactivity and mutations.
CSE: Competent Special Effects. 5
The practical effects were hit and miss. The hideousness of the crab monsters, with their human-like facial features, was sufficiently unnerving, but the giant rubber claws reaching in from off screen, and the near immobility of the creatures in their whole body scenes, was campy.
GAQ: General Acting Quality. 7
The characters delivered their lines and emoted convincingly, for the most part. At times it didn’t appear that they really knew what their motivations were, and the actors didn’t play off of each other very well. Still, there was very little fumbling for lines or flat delivery.
LPS: Logical Progression of Story. 10
The characters are introduced, and their reason for being on the island is provided. They try to determine what happened to the scientists that went missing, discover that the crab monsters exist, learn of the fate of the missing scientists, and subsequently attempt to stay alive and find a way to defeat the creatures. Good and logical progression.
MLA: Menace Level of Antagonist. 9
The crab monsters were lethal and very hard to kill (without employing falling stalactites). They also had the ability to beckon their human prey to their cave lair using telepathic powers gained by eating human brains. They were amoral, calculating, horrific, and one was gravid with what we had to assume were mutant baby crab eggs. My two disappointments were that there were only two of them, and we didn’t get much on-screen physical confrontation between man and monster.
ACE: Apparent Creative Effort. 10
I got the impression that the creators of this film were genuinely trying to create a quality sci fi horror movie. And I think they succeeded in realizing the potential of the story concept, despite the shortcomings of the script, the plot, and special effects.
RTI: Retention of Trope Integrity. 10
Let’s list some tropes! The scientists were scientific. Check! The crew members were hard working sailors. Check! The blue collar technician knew his place and deferred to the scientists. Check! The girl (marine biologist) was sufficiently plucky, but still screamed like a babe in a horror flick and was in need of saving and comforting when the chips were down. Check! The monsters engaged in the relentless pursuit of their prey. Check! Lesser characters were picked off with appropriate regularity. Check! The ending was climactic, and featured a heroic death and the destruction of the last of the creatures. Check! Fade to credits with violin music. Check!
OFE: Overall Film Execution. 8
Maybe 8 is generous, but the film was produced with the filming and special effects technology of its day, so I won’t fault it for special effects, except as noted in the CSE rating. I will say that the off-screen deaths were too numerous, and several opportunities to kill off supporting characters on camera were missed. The characters were fairly one dimensional, and their interaction with each other was lacking.
APF: Accuracy Predicting Future: 0
This movie was then present day, and, although it dealt with atomic radiation and resultant mutation, it made no overt predictions of humanity’s future.
Total rating for Attack of the Crab Monsters: 74! That’s pretty good! And Russell Johnson was in it!
Maybe I’ll rate some other old B sci fi / horror soon! God knows there’s enough of the stuff.
John Racette
August 26, 2021